Epilepsy, I forgive you. You did not single me out in a room of young adults and say, "yes, that's the one that should have seven seizures in less than six weeks." Not your best idea, Epilepsy. However, I do not hold reality against you. Though I am restricted by your effect, I am not restricted by your presence in my spirit. I take into full account that you can hurt me and those whom I love the most, but I refuse to let you do so. My life will continue cautiously but excitingly, because you have opened doors for me. You have been a surprising conversation starter, a comfort to those who still stare at you with wide, terrified eyes. You bring me closer to the condition, not my condition. You have brought me closer to myself, to who I want to be.
The subject of one of my classes this week is narrowed around the demand of forgiveness. The scope is surrounded by forgiveness to not only those who have harmed us but also to those who we have harmed as well, specifying the concept of accepting ourselves in every unique form that we display. The unique forms are what we exude emotionally, our natural impulses in the exposed moments of life. Often, we are surprised by our uniqueness, taken aback by our own capabilities of honesty or gratitude.
Honestly, the reality of being restricted by my own body can be brutal at the split second of realization. Yet, the split second passes, the brutality is brushed over by forgiveness to the condition, and the entirety of the matter is minor in the dire circumstances. This is not a dire circumstance, nor will I let it be. Epilepsy, you make me want to save the dire circumstances. You are the point of reference to life's bigger matters, to cases that cannot be fathomed, written about, or spoken of. To those who live in fear of Epilepsy, find the silver lining. To live in fear of Epilepsy is to live in fear of yourself. Look at Epilepsy as a constant companion who reminds you that there is indeed glory in the small successes. Release the terror while you can and invest the emotion elsewhere, to a place that needs the attention more than a chronic diagnosis that can be dealt with. Find reason to empathize because of Epilepsy; we are all capable of moving beyond the standards of sympathy.